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Age Changes

Unlike gender or ethnicity, our age constantly changes ...

I remember as a child being obsessed with the idea of being 11. It started from being told at the age of eight that I couldn't have a big boy's bike until I was 11 as that was the age when I moved up to secondary school. Thereafter, everything I asked for and was initially refused, was instantly followed with the question, “But can I when I'm 11?” My parents happily agreed to every request. They presumably worked on the assumption that I had the memory of a goldfish and would recall none of these agreements in the next three weeks let alone in three years time. I made a list ...

The age of 11 was therefore a magical age when I would undergo a rite of passage in my progress towards adolescence. Had I known the rush of hormones and angst lying in wait for me in adolescence I would certainly have been less enthusiastic. But all this was unknown to me and all I could think of was how wonderful life would be at 11. I would ride a big bike, stay up late, have my own room, sit in the front seat of the car, be allowed to have chewing gum and gobstoppers, and do all sorts of other things I am embarrassed to relate now. Of course, by the time I reached the age of 11 many of these things had become totally unimportant to me. It also turned out that I disliked chewing gum, and gobstoppers were a total waste of pocket money, as I didn't have the patience to suck them and instead would crunch through them within seconds.

Our age is part of our identity, but unlike our gender or ethnicity, it constantly changes. Perhaps our obsession with our age is part of having to endlessly re-evaluate our concept of who we are in relation to everyone and everything around us?

How do we evaluate our identity in terms of age? Do we examine our appearance or our capabilities? And what do we use as our reference point? Do we use our past selves, our future selves, or do we use other people? How do we know if we are 'doing okay?'

This is further complicated by changes within society and medical advances. We are living longer and longer. A generation ago, society's expectations of how a 50 year old should dress and behave were completely different to nowadays. Back in the 1970's a fifty year old man would shop for clothes at 'sensible' stores. Slacks and slip-on shoes were the thing. Jeans would be unthinkable, laughable even. Yet would we look twice at a 50 year old wearing jeans now? What about a 70 year old wearing jeans? Is that now the age beyond which we resort to comfort over fashion, or will that change over the next decade?

When we are surrounded by octogenarians completing parachute jumps and people under 20 becoming millionaires, how do we know how to act our age? What on earth can we use as a touchstone when we ourselves are always ageing and the world around us is changing ever more rapidly?

The answer that we should simply accept ourselves for who we are without judgement seems to me far too simple, and certainly far harder to put into practice. It is just so much easier to look around for someone to act as a comparator so that you can see yourself in a good light. Stereotyping and prejudice are borne out of these sorts of comparative value judgements. They are so often used as a means of helping us to feel good about ourselves; human touchstones that we can compare ourselves to and boost our own ego.

Age is not a constant. We are continually ageing, as are the people around us, and society's attitude towards people of a certain age is also fluid. I believe that the lack of a constant 'age touchstone' to give us a sense of security in our identity is what leads us to be so concerned about our age.

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I also feel that the lack of constancy is what legitimises the way we beat each other up about age. “Oh grow up!” “Act your age!” “Don't be such a fuddy-duddy!” “Lighten up, you're not over the hill yet!”

All these phrases have an element of acceptability because we aren't really attacking someone's fundamental identity, because that aspect of their identity is constantly moving. Instead, we are helping them to change. And after all, if someone is acting like an immature teenager they'll grow out of it, won't they?

At Academee we developed an 'Age Awareness Workshop' in response to the Employment Equality (Age) Regulations October 2006. Many delegates expect a dry workshop covering various aspects of the legislation with a bit of advice on how to reword their recruitment adverts.

Instead, delegates are pleasantly surprised instead to be involved in a series of interactive learning exercises that take them to the heart of our ageist culture. One exercise deliberately encourages delegates to stereotype. It asks them to answer a series of questions from the perspective of people of different ages. The question of, 'Where would an 80 year old take someone on their first date?' initially stymied one group who could not mentally equate the word 'first' with an 80 year old out on a date. When asked what a fifty-five year old would like as a Christmas present, the answer of 'slippers' came back, followed immediately by a heartfelt exclamation from another delegate - “Oh no, if I EVER ask for slippers for Christmas just take me out and shoot me.”

Behind what seemed like an amusing exercise, lay some very real fears about identity, mortality and what lies in store in our future. Many delegates are amazed at just how much they unconsciously used age as a basis to judge others. All of them accepted that their own values, likes and dislikes would constantly shift as they moved through life. There was a begrudging acceptance that there may come a day when a gift of slippers would be welcomed wholeheartedly.

We then went on to explore how a business environment can be more harmonious if people are judged on ability irrespective of age, and how particular generations will bring specific valuable skills and attributes with them.

According to research undertaken by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development in 2004, there is a five year window between 35 and 40 that employers consider to be 'perfect working age' in that we are perceived as neither 'too young' nor 'too old' for a job. In the survey, this was the only age group who had not experienced discrimination on the basis of their age.

Overlooking people for employment or promotion on the basis of their age will automatically decrease the pool of available people who could potentially fulfill that role. At a time when the majority of employers are struggling to recruit skilled staff this does not make good business sense.

Yet so many organisations I have spoken to feel that taking 'date of birth' off their application forms is sufficient to address the issue of age discrimination. I attended a North West meeting of small businesses who were hearing about the age legislation for the first time. The speaker described the regulations as “the most ridiculous piece of equality legislation ever.”

The delegates on Academee workshops gain an appreciation that ageism is a culturally ingrained issue which cannot be ignored. They also leave empowered to cultivate a culture which judges abilities in the here and now rather than looking for meaningless touchstones for comparators.

I have now reached the physical age of 40. There is no future age that I yearn for. Neither is there an age I wish to return to. I keep pet snakes, play baroque and showtunes on my cello, have Star Wars pyjamas, and love my iPod just as much as I love my slippers. And I have no idea what any of that says about the age I should be.

About the author

David Deegan is a consultant with learning solutions specialist, Academee. He has over 12 years experience in the design and delivery of learning and development and is an expert in the field of diversity and inclusion. David welcomes your views on this article and can be contacted at david.deegan@academee.com.